


Alternate Use

by gala_apples



Category: Fired Up! (2009)
Genre: Object Insertion, Other, Pervertibles, Solo Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-10-08
Packaged: 2017-12-28 20:14:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/996097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So the thing is, if the "bracelet" can be a sex toy, what else in Nick's life can be a sex toy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alternate Use

“So here’s what I can’t stop thinking about,” Nick says.

“Go on.” Shawn replies, not looking away from the tv, which is currently selling them some limited time fast food option that actually sounds pretty decent. Maybe he and Shawn can get some for dinner. His parents left a twenty, and the Colfaxes probably won’t care if Shawn comes home for family dinner.

“You gotta promise you won’t tell anyone. The temptation will be there, but don’t do it.” Nick’s not stupid, he can see the potential hilarity, for anyone else except him. He just has to hope that Shawn cares more about keeping his best friend’s secret than about making the rest of the football team snigger.

Shawn takes him seriously enough to mute the tv. “I solemnly promise to tell no one what you’re about to tell me.”

“So you know how Downey gave me a sex toy but I thought it was a bracelet?”

“Which still doesn’t explain all the times you put it in your mouth, but go on.”

Downey asked the same damn thing, and Nick didn’t have an answer for him either. Maybe he just has an oral fixation. Whatever, people should fuck off. “Okay, well now I can’t stop thinking about other things.”

“Huh?”

“Like if an asstoy can be a bracelet, can a bracelet be an asstoy? Or what about like Mardi Gras beads? Or-”

Shawn cuts him off. A sound idea, probably. Nick’s been slowly obsessing more and more about this. He’s got a list the length of his arm of things that could maybe be used for other purposes. He could have gone on for another five minutes. “Stating the obvious here, but if you have the toy still, why not just use that?”

“I dunno. Maybe because it’s not mine?” It didn’t really come up for him. His brain has jumped onto what household items can be sex toys, not let’s buy sex toys. Plus it seems kind of gay to use someone else’s sex toy. Like he’s pining for Downey or something, which is just flat out not true. The only times Nick’s even thought of him are weird invasive mental images during masturbatory sessions. But that doesn’t count as sexual, not really, he thinks about the weirdest shit with a hand on his dick. And it sure as hell doesn’t count as missing him. Nick probably won’t even go to cheerleading camp next summer.

“Well technically that carrot in the fridge isn’t yours either.”

“That carrot is pristine, dude.”

“Well fuck, I’d hope so. It would be super fucked up if you put it back in the fridge after. Like, your mom could eat that.”

“I don’t think I’d use food. You can get e coli from that, can’t you?”

Shawn rolls his eyes. “You have a problem with probably mythical food diseases, but you can get my thirteen year old sister to hook you up with a STD test no problem?”

That is a crap parallel, and Shawn should know it. “Dude, if I _had_ a food disease I’d probably go to your sister. She’s amazing.”

“Thank you?” Shawn replies, half a question. He lives in a middling state of fear when it comes to his little sister’s mafia-like skills. Nick’s _amazing_ is Shawn’s _holy crap what now_. “But really, sex toys? Why bother? Why don’t you just have sex with the nearest hot girl?”

“Because the nearest hot girl probably isn’t gonna say hell yeah to a proposal of let’s stick this hairbrush handle up my ass.”

“So find the nearest curious guy. Not me, by the way.” Shawn grins and pats Nick’s knee like he’s letting him know he doesn’t care about orientation. Good that Shawn’s not a homophobe, since that would have made cheerleading camp a lot more difficult, not to mention meaning that he’s a doucherocket, but also totally unnecessary.

“Not gay, by the way,” Nick replies.

“Really? You sure?”

“Shut up. It’s like I said at whoever’s party, ‘I’m too straight to be gay. I could suck knob and still be straight. I could have one in my mouth and two in each hand and still win a straight award’.”

“Jennifer. How is it you can remember that whole speech but not her name?”

Nick shrugs. Maybe he’s said it to himself five or six or a hundred times over August to justify his new interest. Sometimes he just has to remind himself that he’s a man, no matter what kinks he might possibly have.

Shawn shrugs back. “Whatever. If you can’t use Downey’s figure out a new play. Do you have any pizza pops?”

“Only the cheap no name brand ones,” Nick answers. “They’re good though, the bread part is flakier instead of hard dough.”

“Nuke that sht up then,” Shawn slaps his thigh. Nick gets up, but fuck his best friend. He’ll make some for himself, and Shawn can get his ass off the couch if he wants one.

Nick knows he’s in trouble when things outside of his bedroom start looking like they have potential. It’s one thing to be jerking off and imagine mounting the door handle with the complete unrealism that he usually reserves for daydreaming about sex with triplets or being a porn star. It’s a-whole-fucking-nother to be on the football field with Sean and his other brothers in arms and suddenly thinking the spout of Liederman’s water bottle could probably fit inside him. It’s a distracting enough thought that he misses the ball that should have spiralled into his hands. After that Coach pretty much swears at him non stop for the rest of practice.

Nick waits until they’re safely in Shawn’s car to ask “seriously though, should I just stick something in my ass?”

Shawn handles the out of the blue topic well. He doesn’t stomp on the gas or the brakes. He doesn’t even have a coughing fit. He just thinks for a split second before replying. “Three part answer. One, I basically assumed you’ve been doing it since you told me a month ago. My answer was ‘I don’t really care, do what you want’ then, and it’s the same now. Thought you knew that or I would have made it clearer. Two, whatever it is, use an alcohol wipe first. And wash it after, unless you can throw it out. Three, if assplay is as good as playing with a girl’s ass, you need to let me know so I can press for reciprocation.”

Nick doesn’t need anyone’s permission to do anything. He’s king of the school after all. All the girls think he’s hot, not to mention sensitive to others needs since he helped the cheerleading team. And they like the extra flexibility. All the guys think he’s brilliant for getting three weeks of biscuit he’ll never have to see again, including a goddamn MILF. Still, it somehow feels right that he’s got Shawn’s go ahead. They’ll be bros for life, Nick basically always wants Sean to be cool with what he’s doing. But that is sappy as fuck and there’s no way he’s saying it out loud.

“Profiting on my knowledge? You lazy bastard!”

“Technically gaining knowledge through your experiment. I’m not making money.”

“That’s true.”

No one’s at home when Shawn idles and lets him out of the car. His parents schedules are erratic and Nick doesn’t bother to learn them, just assumes a double negative of will always be home after school to prevent girls from coming over, and will never be at games to show support. That way private time and rah rah rahs are happy surprises, not disappointingly infrequent.

Nick’s first order of business is to have a second shower. In his own bathroom he can linger, and actually touch himself below the waist. After he’s done he goes downstairs in a towel. The curtains are mostly drawn, and the terrycloth is covering his dick anyway. The knot in the side is enough to keep it on his hips as he wanders around. He’s been spending the last few weeks mentally converting every object in his surroundings to sex toys, and today he’s finally doing something about it. Soon enough the towel is off, acting as a makeshift catch-all. The living room is such a trove that Nick considers throwing himself right on the couch and starting there. The problem with that plan is that his lotion is in his room, and asses don’t self-lubricate.

The objects scatter a bit as Nick tilts the towel and spills them onto his bed. He has way more than he can use, even in a full night jerk off session, but it’s nice to have options. Nick shoves them to the side, enough so that he can lay down, and thinks about his options. Only one of them can be first, after all.

He’ll have to start small. He’s not stupid. When he’s plowing a girl he has to work up to putting his dick in. It just makes sense that guys asses would work the same way. There was a Sharpie he grabbed from the magnetic container on the fridge. It’s about the size of one finger, and that’s a good place to start. 

Nick squirts some lotion on his hand and slicks the grey length up to the cap. Then he rolls halfway on his stomach halfway on his left side, with his knee bent up. It’s not the best position for jerking off, but it leaves his asscheeks spread without needing a hand for the job. The marker slides in fairly easily, his hole clenching then letting go. Nick pushes until he can feel the clip of the cap against his rim, then stops. He gives himself a second to be still and get used to the feeling, figure out if it’s just a weird fantasy/obsession that he should have known better than actually try, like asking the Montrose triplets out on a single date, or if it’s better than that.

After a moment Nick grabs for his dick. There’s no question; he likes this. He definitely likes this. The marker’s holding him open, and shit, no wonder girls like getting fucked. It’s hot as balls to feel wide open and slutty. He eyes the spool of thread and flashlight and wooden spoon and everything else. Fuck, he is so going to do this for the rest of the night with every object he collected. There’s no reason to stop, not until he’s coming dry.


End file.
